It’s been about three years since I first started this project as a way to force myself to write something at least once a week. There is a thing about being a “writer” where sometimes a “writer” doesn’t do any actual “writing.” So I was trying to get away from that, and make something I didn’t have to be proud of but still got to do—and that was this newsletter.
Upon reflecting, most of my posts have been made last-minute and about my personal day, instead of doing much of the in-depth or gut-bustingly funny writing as I intended to do with this project. Such is the way that it goes when you’re kind of a poser of a writer who also has a full-time job and poor time management skills. I’m just not cut out for the big leagues. If I can’t even do a good job at doing this, how will I ever get down to writing a book or a play or literally any sketch I’ve told people I’m “working on”?
Sometimes, we have to just admit defeat and realize that our dreams are maybe not for who we are meant to be. Maybe sometimes we have to come to terms with the fact that nobody really cares about your opinions on books, or which sports team mascots you’d fuck, and that maybe if you just kept those things to yourself sometimes things like jobs and romance may actually work in your favor. So, after a few years of sharing a piece of me with you (more than I intended), it is time to end this chapter of my non-career and find something else to do, hopefully in private. It’s been fun.
April fool’s!
Sorry, I think it’s quite tacky to do an April Fool’s post, but like usual I didn’t prepare anything over the weekend and I’ve got stuff to do today and a personal goal to put something out once a week. Sorry if I bummed you out about quitting the newsletter, I’m not actually going to do that. And sorry if I bummed you out by saying that I’m not quitting. Very apologetic today.
Several years ago, I got my license at the fresh, young age of 23 and the date that I passed my driver’s test was on April 1st. Excited to let everyone know that I was no longer a virgin who cannot drive, I posted that I got my license. But because I was notoriously a non-driver, people thought I was making an April Fool’s joke. It kind of ruined the magic of posting about something really exciting and cool that happened to you—the price one pays for being constantly very silly. This post is like the opposite of that, which also may not be the best feeling.
To be fair, even though I have my license now I drive maybe once a year so it’s like not having one at all, really.
But I have done some reflecting on the work I put out. One friend (reader) recently said that they enjoyed the newsletter because it’s a little peek into my personal life while another said they liked it because they like reading my “curmudgeonly rants.” I appreciate that my friends like to support me in everything I do (regardless if it’s worth supporting, but that’s another thing), but I don’t really want the vibe of this newsletter to be “old man yells at cloud” or a personal diary akin to an old LiveJournal. I am better than the other cringe millennials on the internet. I had bigger ideas for this whole thing than that, even if I haven’t executed any of them yet.
My own personal goal for this project going forward is to take more time, ahead of time, to write pieces that I can actually be proud of that have more substance than just a personal touch only a friend or an alive mother can love. I say this, but also do not keep me accountable. I am a busy lady!
Thanks as always for sticking out long enough to reach the end.
The Ghost Rats have two shows this week! This Tuesday 4/2 we’re in the Tuesday Good Show, 7:00pm at the Gallery Cabaret (for free!). On Saturday, 4/6 we have a Date Night with the Rats, 9:30pm at the Bughouse!