I don’t know what else to talk about so let’s talk about the Super Bowl
Or the “Big Game.” Don’t sue me, I am poor.
This past Sunday was one of the holiest Sundays in American culture (holier than Easter at this point, probably): it was the Super Bowl. Even though I’m not the biggest football fan (though I do watch more NFL than most of my friends, even though that fact is overlooked by my visual vibes of being someone who probably doesn’t like sports even though I do), I do tune in every year even when I am all sad and alone—which is not the way to be on Super Bowl Sunday.
This year, we did not recreate the sadness of sitting on a pizza while watching the Big Game alone in my bedroom (2021); or making my friend host a party so I can avoid not being invited to my roommate’s party (2020); or watching Left Shark by myself (2015); or watching the game with my parents instead of friends (various years, cancer and no cancer both involved). I went to a party, the same party that started because I asked my friend if I could watch it at her house so I wasn’t shunned by my roommate. I think I may not be as liked by people as I think I am. Anyways.
There are a lot of things to talk about—Taylor Swift, angry yelling at your coach, the Beyonce commercial, the Nickelodeon version, the actual football that was played—but I don’t want to talk about any of that. There are only two things that I would like to write about today: Justin Bieber not being at the halftime show and the Ben Affleck Dunkin’ commercial.
First: J-Biebz. It was a long shot to think that Justin Bieber was going to join his former mentor on the Super Bowl stage, but as a late-Blieber I still had to have a morsel of hope. Now I feel like a clown. Even without Justin there, it was one of the most impressive and enjoyable halftime shows I’ve ever seen. If there’s anyone I love more than Justin Bieber, it’s Usher. I got a pair of roller skates a couple of years ago, so I gotta get to practicing so I can do whatever he was doing up there.
Second: Ben Affleck and Dunkin. If you’ve been reading this newsletter or know me even a little bit you know that I am obsessed with Ben Affleck, even though I have no connection to Boston. I was just so enamored by how truly sad he was during his divorced era. Even though he’s come back and is dating J.Lo, he still has that divorced dad energy that will truly never go away, like in this new commercial. He’s got Dunkin-branded tracksuits from the 90s, his bff Matt Damon, and a song that sucks. Fellow divorced dad Tom Brady also made an appearance and looks like the most normal one in the bunch. Jennifer, is this what Ben is like at home or is this just a commercial persona to pander to New Englanders (and me)? Please email me at reneefmillette@gmail.com to let me know.
Also before I go can I just mention how weird it is that the weird Jesus commercial group has enough money for two Super Bowl commercials but apparently not enough money to just, like, do anything good for disadvantaged people? Makes you think. Anyone with $28 million can just do whatever they want it seems. The Super Bowl is a weird, weird place. Very American. But I’m not going to go deeper into that today because frankly I do not want to!
Thanks for reading as always, hoping that next week I write something actually good.
Mark your calendars for March 1st, it’s the Ghost Rats’ one-year anniversary show of Date Night with the Rats! 10:00pm at the Bughouse! (We also have shows 3/8 and 3/15, same time same place).
The Rats will also be opening for Slapping Salmons in the Sunday Splash on Sunday, February 25th, 8:00pm at iO.