Horoscopes for Sagittarius Season 2024

Would you like an egg in these trying times?

As the sun enters Scorpio on the 22nd of November, we are really getting closer to the end of the calendar year, which means the holiday season has begun in full swing. This winter is all about getting together with people and getting drunk with those people and blacking out after making out with someone dressed like Santa at the bar. This is also a time of year where we are expected to go spend time with family that we may not like. The vibes this year for Sagittarius season is to start as many fights as you can, and win them. This is the perfect year to throw hands on your dad. He probably deserves it, if this is resonating with you.

Aries
You wake up for work and go about your day, which is mundane and unexciting. You go to sleep, then wake up the next day. It is equally as uninteresting as the day before. After a few days of this, you check the calendar and realize the date hasn’t moved since you started feeling like life was incredibly boring. There needs to be a change—but what will that change be?

Taurus
There’s someone you’ve become closer to recently who you didn’t really know too well before. Getting to know them has been a good time. You both seem to have a lot in common. One day, your new friend asks you if they could borrow something to wear for a special event. They never bring it back, but you kind of forget about the lost clothes. They do it again, and again, and again. They suddenly have more of your clothes than you do. They also start adopting your mannerisms and show up at places you didn’t plan to meet them at. Proceed with caution.

Gemini
The holidays are coming up, which means one thing: Ferris wheel. You and a boo are going to go on a cute little wintery date and end up riding one of these big wheels—a very romantic activity. When you reach the top of the wheel, the ride stops moving due to a mechanical failure. It takes hours to fix. Will you get steamy with each other to pass the time, or will this become a miniature version of Lord of the Flies? Always vet someone you go on a Ferris wheel with, you may just die.

Cancer
You’re always a little wary of new “health” trends, but you’ve been advertised a new miracle tea on Instagram like a billion times and the ads are very fun and colorful, so you finally bite the bullet and buy a box. And let me tell you, this tea is magic—your skin will glow and you will never have a digestive problem again.

Leo
You will find a very cool jacket at the thrift store and everyone will be obsessed with your new jacket. 

Virgo
One day while at work you will receive an email from someone you haven’t talked to in years. All there is in the email is a set of coordinates. “Why not?” you ask yourself, and go to the location. It’s not like there was a link in this cryptic email, so at least it wasn’t a phishing scam. At the coordinates, there is nobody and nothing except for a shovel next to a tree. You must dig for the next clue. 

Libra
Nobody’s safe from layoffs, not even at the North Pole, and Santa has just fired six of his newest elves. Now banished to the land of habitable North America, these tiny creatures (all siblings) are looking for new purpose—and a place to stay. (Un?)fortunately these elves found you out and about and have immediately imprinted on you for you to be their new guardian. They will not leave you alone and walk in two clean rows behind you as if they were ducks. They will not take no for an answer.

Scorpio
Someone will send you $100 on Venmo with the only thing in the description being, “i’m sorry.” You’ll take this as a win, this time.

Sagittarius
Happy birthday, Sagittarius! Things are going great for you this month, so ride that high you’re feeling and get into big business. Slap your face on a bottle of soap and everyone will be like, “Wow! I have to get the Sagittarius soap!” You will make good money for the first three months at least, then you can only hope that some bigger company buys you out so you can spend the rest of your days in solitude on a tropical island, like what Tom from Myspace probably does.

Capricorn
You have been cursed with bad luck that translates to constantly hitting the corners of walls. No matter how much you try to avoid corners (and walls in general) a new thing to run into will appear. 

Aquarius
As we’re getting closer to winter, now is the perfect time to get the girls together and do a blood ritual. Nothing brings people together and a bountiful harvest for the next year like doing some dark magic. You will be bonded to your friends—and an ancient demon—for the rest of your lives. How fun!

Pisces
When you go back to your hometown for the holidays, you run into a guy from your high school who never left town and also has a morally questionable career. He will confess to you that he’s been in love with you for decades, even though you’ve barely spoken then and definitely not recently.