Which Disney-Themed Guitar Would Make Me Look Really Cool?
Since I have a constant feeling as though I am inadequate during the month of January, and since I still historically have not been considered sexy or cool by most, I have restarted my annual journey into trying to find what is the one thing that will help me be sexy and cool. As has been seen by previous years, I’m going to give up on this journey pretty soon and just try to accept that I will never be sexy and cool enough. Until I try this again in January of 2023 and beyond.
Recently I’ve been thinking about learning the guitar. I have a Fender Squier that I’ve had since I was nine years old which I never learned how to play. After asking the two friends I have who play guitar, they told me that it was a pretty okay guitar. Very classic for beginners (which I am), but the conclusion is that it’s not the sexiest nor the coolest guitar to play on. So what was a girl to do? I have a perfectly good guitar to hypothetically learn on (I probably will never get around to learning this craft well enough to show for it), but it’s low on the cool factor. I don’t want to put too much money into something I will probably abandon shortly.
In this small crisis I remembered something: Disney had branded guitars for many of their properties specifically in the mid-to-late 2000s. Doing a quick eBay search, most of these guitars were pretty affordable, averaging around $50 or so. Are these meant for children and would be too small for my big adult hands? Yes. But they also look sick as hell, as I will explain below.
Hannah Montana Electric Guitar
Hannah Montana is one of the coolest characters that Disney has to offer. She has the best of both worlds—she can chill out, take it slow but also rock out the show. This branded Hannah Montana electric guitar captures all of that. It is a beautiful purple color and while it says “Secret Star” on the front, there’s no secret that I (or you) will look like a star playing with this beautiful instrument.
Hannah Montana Acoustic Guitar
Did you think that Hannah Montana only has an electric guitar? You fool. How else was she able to do all of those transition sounds herself on the show? I really like this one. The purple color is quite nice and I like the sparkly elements to it too. Overall? I think I would look whimsical and hot if I whipped this guitar out at a party.
Camp Rock Electric Guitar
This Camp Rock guitar was an absolute gem to find. I had no idea it existed until literally right now, and man it looks cool! When I watched Camp Rock for the first time (on the premiere of course!) I had to pretend like I didn’t like the movie (even though I loved it) because I was trying to be an edgy emo middle school kid and I couldn’t like stuff on Disney Channel. Anyways, I was really dumb for a lot of reasons. Aesthetically, this guitar has everything that I would’ve wanted back then—mostly just that it is checkered and is mostly black. I think I still would look very cool with this guitar.
Camp Rock Acoustic Guitar
While the Camp Rock electric guitar is awesome, the official acoustic guitar is severely lacking. Not even Kevin Jonas would use this guitar because it is so ugly.
Cars Acoustic Guitar
My most prominent musical memory with the Pixar movie Cars is that in middle school the marching band had a field trip to go to the Indy 500 to parade around the track playing a band version of “Life is a Highway” by Rascal Flatts on a loop. We never got to do this because the parade part got rained out, but that song from Cars was stuck in my head for months. Needless to say, the Cars guitar for children is actually pretty cool looking. Lightning McQueen is an absolute legend, after all.
Coco Acoustic Guitar
I have actually not seen the movie Coco yet (I know it’s been out for a long time, but I am very behind on movies!) but I do know that guitars are an integral part of the plot. Needless to say, this guitar is very pretty. I love the colors and the design.
Phineas and Ferb Acoustic Guitar
I have no reason why Disney made a Phineas and Ferb themed guitar, but I am so glad they did. This design and this instrument absolutely slaps. I could see myself spending a great summer learning some jams on this bad boy. Nothing is cooler and sexier than something with Perry the Platypus.
The most disappointing part of my Disney-themed guitar search was to find that there was no official guitar for the classic Disney Channel Original Movie Lemonade Mouth. For such a good movie that is also about a very cool band, it is a complete shame that Disney didn’t think it was necessary or worthwhile to provide their own guitar for children and adults like me to purchase.
In the end, for the purposes in aiding my sexy and cool journey of January 2022, I believe that the best contenders are the Camp Rock electric, either of the Hannah Montana ones, or the Phineas and Ferb one. Of course, I will follow up with all of you dear readers if I am successful in acquiring one of these beauties and if it helps me become extremely cool and hot.