Nancy Drew and the Mystery of the Person Who Ruins the Bathroom at Work All the Time
I need to stop drinking coffee in the mornings. I don’t particularly like it and it always goes right through me. Time to go to the bathroom. It’s not even 9:30 and someone has already clogged the middle toilet by shoving a fresh stack of paper towels into the toilet. Yes, paper towels. Those things that are not anywhere near the toilet, but by the sink to be used to dry your hands after you wash them.
This isn’t new. It happens multiple times a week. Someone comes in with the intent of clogging a toilet and nothing else. I don’t work in a school. 90% of people on this floor are older than me. They aren’t even clogging the toilet with paper towels because they prefer to use paper towels to wipe (which is not understandable if it were true). They just want to commit bathroom terrorism on a daily basis.
Why are they doing this? Do they hate where they work? Probably. I also hate where I work, but I’m not going to destroy a bathroom because of it. The paper towels thing isn’t even the worst thing that I’ve ever experienced on the regular, not even close (but I won’t describe it all in detail here because that would be gross). What did the plumbers of the building do to this person that they feel the need for vengeance?
After three years of sharing a bathroom on this floor, I am tired. Every day I need to pee so many times and every time I have to prepare to go into a battlefield. I should not be prepared for unwelcome surprises when I go to a bathroom in a professional work setting. I know everyone on this floor. I see your faces every day, and one of you looks me straight in the eye knowing of all the crimes you have committed.
At this point, I just want to talk. I just want to know who you are and why you do the things that you do. You can find me. You probably don’t read my newsletter, but I hope my message reaches you. I won’t tell anyone. I just want peace.