I’ve got a bit of writer’s block so I’m just going to talk about how much I like Taco Bell potatoes
It’s terrible news, but I have a bit of writer’s block. The weather was really nice this weekend, so I was doing a lot of stuff that was not related to writing at all. I’m also working on writing a show for a class that I’m in so a lot of my writing energy is going towards that. I also have to call Iron Mountain to order paper shredding bins this morning and I hate doing that because their customer service is absolute ass and yes I have been thinking about that task all week too. These are just excuses, though, and it is Monday, so I must deliver some kind of content.
As a (younger, thank God) millennial I am quite fond of Taco Bell. There is one not too far from my apartment that I frequent a lot when I’m walking back home late at night from improv class. It has had my back when nobody else was there for me. You can get a ton of fucking food for less than $10, and for even less money if you’re not trying to get anything fancy. It may not be “real” Mexican food (and I never expect it to be), and it may just be the same three ingredients made up in different ways, but there’s something about TBell that I absolutely love. And no, I don’t suffer from stomach issues after I go nasty on some tacos.
The one thing that I like the most are the potatoes. They’re just regular potatoes, but they are an amazing add-on to the staple flavors of any Taco Bell food item. In college I used to eat a lot of cheesy potato grillers (rest in peace), and that’s what really got me on the potato train. There’s something about the contents of a loaded baked potato wrapped in a tortilla that really resonates with me. On another fateful day, when using one of those kiosks, I learned that you could add potatoes to a crunchwrap supreme for not that much extra and that really changed the course of my life forever—it’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a trash food, and more.
When the Covid-19 pandemic hit us in 2020, even worse news came to follow—Taco Bell was removing potatoes from the menu. I was devastated by this despite not having any Taco Bell in months (I’m not about to order delivery from Taco Bell, and there wasn’t a way to eat in person at the time, obviously). I don’t know if this was a PR stunt or not, but the potatoes eventually came back by the time I was able to visit a TBell again.
The potato grillers never returned, unfortunately. They’re a lost cause, never to be seen again. While the Mexican pizza had hardcore, high-profile fans such as Dolly Parton and Doja Cat, the cheesy potato grillers had just one fan—me, and I’m not very popular and people usually don’t think I have great taste so I don’t think I have enough star power to convince a giant food company to bring back a dollar menu item for just myself. I would like that, though. The potato soft shell tacos are pretty good, and my regular potato-filled crunchwrap does hit the spot (when the employees actually remember to put potatoes in, which happens about 70% of the time), but nothing is quite like a cheesy potato griller.
Someday, when I’m trying to satiate my tummy after drinking two to three beers around midnight, I hope that when I go through my options at the Taco Bell kiosk I will see my beloved cheesy potato grillers again. And if that is simply impossible, I hope that they create some new potato items just for me. I just really like those potatoes.