Horoscopes for Sagittarius Season
It’s the most wonderful time of the year! No, not Christmas—it’s Sagittarius season! This is the time when you can really let loose. This is the perfect time to fall in love, go on the vacation of a lifetime, or even get away with murder! There are no rules when the sun is in Sagittarius because that’s how astrology works! Have fun, avoid FOMO, and party until you can’t party anymore. If you stay inside now, you’ll be sad and lonely for the rest of your life.
Aries
Even though it’s starting to get colder outside, inside your home is the last place you want to be, so go on a trip! As luck would have it, you will find super cheap plane tickets to a far-away island that you’ve always wanted to visit. While you’re on this dream vacation, you will come across a mystery that has been terrorizing the island for years. Will you solve this mystery and save everyone, or will you find your own end?
Taurus
This time of year is about surprises and spontaneity, so when someone you never imagined was into you asks you out on a date, you’re going to go for it. Be careful, though. The honeymoon phase always feels great, but be sure to look out for any red flags. If you stumble across a closet full of masks and cloaks, you need to get the hell out of there. You’re trying to fall in love with a cutie, NOT the Phantom of the Opera!
Gemini
The best thing for you to do right now is network. Network all over the place. With girlboss energy exuding out of your pores, you’re going to be able to get everything you want and more. Your business idea to sell custom pet rocks at a 500% markup? Sold. Pete Davidson leaving Kim K for your ass? Also going to happen. You’re untouchable. You’re invincible. You are never going to die.
Cancer
You need to be careful this month, Cancer. As a natural host, you’re bound to be doing the absolute most this holiday season. When you are baking your 5th pie of the day one cold Sunday afternoon, you will accidentally burn your house down. You may also just spontaneously combust if you’re not much of a baker. Anyways, counteract this firey fate by maybe doing absolutely nothing for anyone at all.
Leo
Now is the perfect time to be proactive in getting what you want, and that means making the first move! When you’re out and about, keep a little stash of napkins in your pocket to write cute little notes like, “Hey I think you’re beautiful,” to hand out to strangers. This will work. You will suddenly be swept up in a whirlwind romance, where you find out that the person you were courting is actually the heir to a throne in a land far, far away and they were just trying to enjoy a few days of a normal life before having to return and get married for political reasons. It’s time to be a homewrecker.
Virgo
While most people are out being social during this season, you’re going to find yourself more useful, warm and comfortable in your own home. This is the perfect time to start pickling every vegetable you know how to pickle. You never know when the End Times will start and you are nothing but overly prepared.
Libra
It looks like you have a secret admirer! May it be physical notes or emails or creepy voicemails, you have a fan and they are going to let you know that they are super into you. Are you going to humor this person in the hopes that they are really hot and rich or are you going to ignore them because you’re just so sexy and cool you can find a normal person to fall in love with in real life no problem?
Scorpio
This is going to be a working month for you. After many sleepless nights and pictures on a corkboard with string connecting the dots, you will finally have figured out that Zodiac Killer cipher that nobody’s figured out before. Remember to find a good contact source when you drop the news, otherwise nobody will believe you.
Sagittarius
Oh hey there birthday bitch! It’s your time to shine, so take advantage of it. The world is your oyster right now so just think about what you want and grab it. Do you want a hot brunette 40-year old woman to fall in love with you and take care of you? You got it. Do you want your terribly written mobster screenplay to get fully funded into production? That’s going to happen too. You want your ex to text you? Please love yourself, but it’s possible.
Capricorn
Being a member of society just is not it for you right now. Turn off your phone, stop going to your job, steal a van and go live off-grid in a cabin in the middle of the woods. No one will know where you are, except for the old man whose cabin you unknowingly broke into. You two are friends now. Your loved ones may be worried about you, but it’s fine. You’re hunting all your own food now and life could not be better.
Aquarius
This month is the perfect time for you to get the girls together for the perfect heist. As the ringleader for this perfect crime, you’re going to need to evaluate all your closest friends and only choose the best ones that will serve you in this endeavor. You can’t have any weak links if you want to pull this off, so be prepared to hurt some feelings. It’s better than going to jail!
Pisces
When walking down the street one day, you will be mistaken for a very famous pop star. This pop star is super famous but you have never heard of them, which is surprising because they look exactly like you! This singing sensation is going to unexpectedly fall ill while they tour in your town, so it’s up to you to take their place and give everyone the performance of your life. Are you able to handle it, or are you going to end up a viral joke the next day? Either way, you’re famous now.